So Shoe Me.

When a woman is planning a trip somewhere, she faces a major dilemma: which shoes to bring? Don't ask me why this is a problem, I am a woman. I don't know any better. It must be a flaw in my biological development since I'm pretty sure Neanderthal women didn't have to sort through their heels, flats, wedges or sandals before they set out on their survival trek through the Ice-Age.

I have at least twelve pairs of shoes that I find essential to everyday survival, which I suppose could bring, but only if I left one of the kids at home... So how I am going to do this, is beyond me. I think I might need professional advice and I need it now. Hello, Google. I type in: 'woman packing shoes'.

First up: Rick Steve's Europe: Packing for Women
Okay, I am very sceptic about this one. A man writing about how women should pack?! I'm expecting to read 'Jeez Louise, woman, pick a pair and just pack it!' But apparently this article is written by a couple of tour guides, who are women. Okay, let's see what they have to say:

Bring one pair of comfortable walking shoes. Mephisto, Ecco, and Rieker look dressier and more European than sneakers but are still comfortable. For a second pair, consider sandals or Tevas in summer, or dark leather flats in winter (can be worn with opaque hose and a skirt to dress up). Before you leave home, walk several miles in any footwear you'll be taking to be sure they're broken in.

Mephisto? Rieker?! Leather flats?! Opaque hose?! Ok, I don't even own stuff like this. And the last thing I'm concerned about is looking European. I live in Europe for pete's sake, everything I own is going to look European anyway. This is clearly not going to help me.

Next: OneBag.com
I like the sound of that, although traveling with one bag is an inconceivable notion, considering I am the mom-traveling-with-two-toddlers-and-a-grumpy-ass-husband type, not the sexy-single-who-even-looks-hot-on-her-passport-foto-traveling-with-one-bag type. There's a lot of info on shoes, I'll sum up:  
Breaking in a new pair of shoes on a trip is unwise.
Dammit. There goes my excuse to go and buy new shoes instead of having to choose between the ones I already own.
Also, learn to tie your shoelaces properly: more than half the shoes I see are tied incorrectly, using some form of unreliable slip knot...Visit Ian Fieggen's Shoelace Site, and take the time to learn how to do it more effectively.
Will you look at that! I had no idea I wasn't tying my shoes properly! Lucky for me, I do not own any shoes with ties. Better study that site before I teach my kids though... Till then, I'll just swear by Velcro.
For most people, shoes (which are bulky, heavy, and dirty) represent the biggest packing challenge. Try to find a pair that works with everything you're taking.
A pair that works with everything I'm taking?! Do you have any idea what I'm taking?! I don't even know what I'm taking. And what if I buy new clothes while I'm there? How will I know the shoes will match something I don't even own yet?! What if my shoes break while I'm there and I have to get new shoes? How will I find shoes that will match all the stuff I took?
Omg, I need to calm down.
Women will find narrow heels to be problematic on cobblestones and when trekking uphill (despite the observation that plenty of Parisiennes traipse for blocks while wearing stilettos); modest wedges and chunky heels are more practical.
As much as I long to be a cobblestone-traipsing Pariesienne on stilettos, I thank God, I own wedges. Very modest wedges. Many pairs of modest wedges, to be exact. Come to think of it, I only wear wedges. All I own is wedges. Okay, all I know is: I need to bring wedges.
Wedges.
Check.

Next up: Packing for a City-Getaway
These folks start off on the right foot:

Limit yourself to four pairs of shoes. Sounds impossible, doesn't it? It doesn't have to be if you choose wisely.
Alright! Now you're speakin' my language! Four pairs! I'm allowed to bring four pairs! Woohoo!
Bring at least one pair of stylish walking shoes. I suggest Italian designer Tods' moccasins or Puma sneakers.
Okay, the last time I wore moccasins was when I was twelve, and I still have a hard time finding them stylish... I am very anti-sneakers as well. This could be a problem. 
Always bring a great pair of pumps or an evening shoe. The obvious choice is the classic pointy toe black pump but red always works well.
Well obviously, pointy, black and uncomfortable is the way to go when your suitcase is already full of extra diapers and kids' clothes and you've got a 15 pound limit to stick to. Does this even advice apply to me? I mean, any evening activity I plan on doing on this trip is sleeping...
...In the summer, a chic pair metallic sandals or ballet flats are suitable. And just FYI, if you are the type of person who cannot resist wearing heels, do yourself a favor and invest in some wedges, which provide much more support than stilettos.
I've actually got a pair of metallic sandals! They're not wedges though. Fortunately, this article has more positive news about wedges! I am so good with the wedges! Except, now they're telling me to invest in a good pair. Suddenly I am convinced all the pairs I own are crap. I should invest. But OneBag.com told me, I shouldn't break in new shoes on a trip. Uh-oh, I've got a whole new dilemma now.


And finally: Anne Garber's Travel Savvy: Packing Tips for Women
Anne keeps it short and sweet:

Take comfortable shoes. You will not have a good time if your feet hurt. Three pairs of shoes are the maximum for most trips: one to wear and two to pack. Include good-looking and comfortable walking shoes or sandals, more dressed up shoes for dinner and social events, and sport or athletic shoes.

Okay, so even though Anne doesn't go into the specific benefits of wedge-wearing, she has the best advice so far. Three pairs it is then. The rest of her article is jam-packed with good packing tips. Anne really understands me. She goes on to say:

Packing can be a stressful process. As all your worldly belongings are crammed into one suitcase, panic sets in, you run the risk of forgetting your travel documents, and you have yet to master the art of avoiding the crumpled and creased look on arrival. For those who aspire to reach their destination relaxed and in perfect order, here is how to manage packing with perfection.

I'm not expecting to meet packing perfection this time, seeing as the possibility of forgetting my travel documents is indeed a reality, and arriving at my final destination without looking all crumpled and creased is simply an impossible feat. But I can live with that. My husband and kids won't care if I look like a wrinkled, bloated slob when we arrive, neither will my parents who will be waiting on the other end to pick us up. (They saw me when I was born, which can be argued as my worst 'bad hair day' ever.)

I figure: for this trip, as long as my shoes wedges look good, I look good.