Wednesday

My Mobile Internet Has Low Self Esteem

My internet connection has an inferiority complex. Whenever I want to do something online - update my website, post something on my blog, send an e-mail to my family - my internet connection suddenly feels unworthy and promptly disconnects itself, booting me from the system and anything I was in the midst of doing.

Mobile internet should be mind-bogglingly fast by now, it's the 21st century for crying out loud. How hard can it be to get a decent internet connection in a civilized, modern country like this, if it isn't broadband?! Just because I choose not to live in an overcrowded, polluted stink-hole of a city doesn't make me any less entitled to decent rate of kbs per second!

I'm tempted to think some kind of conspiracy is going on - mobile internet-users must be considered the pond scum of society and therefore should not be allowed the privilege of a stable connection. I bet the feds have a dart board with a picture of mobile internet-users on there which they hurl darts at during their coffee break. 'Damn those mobile internet-users', they probably say.

There! It did it again! As I type this, my internet connection is going, 'I'm not worthy! Just disconnect me now or I'll disconnect myself! I'll do it, I swear!' It's not kidding. It disconnected. Again and again, I have to deal with my internet connection bailing out on me. How do you boost the ego of an internet connection anyway? I suppose I could caress it a little, and say nice things like 'Your USB plug looks extra shiny today' or perhaps encourage it by saying something like, 'I know you can make it to UMTS today - you've done it before!! Come on, show me you've still got it baby!'

Maybe my internet connection is just tired. It has been working overtime lately. Especially since I started blogging. If I listen really closely, I can almost hear it pleading with me, 'Aw, give a guy a break. Let me sleep in, just a couple more minutes...please...' Or maybe it's just having a mental breakdown. It's simply negotiated its last connection and just can't take it anymore!

Poor thing. It has no choice, it just has to put out. Without it, I am disconnected from the world as I know it. As much pressure as that puts on my internet connection, it just needs to shape up and get connecting. I am saying it right now: 'No excuses anymore, mister. Um, did I mention how pretty you look today...?'

2 comments:

  1. grrr! i hate it when that happens! I too, have the slowest connection on the planet and sometimes, i am ok with getting more grey hairs waiting to see if i have a new message from a blogger and other times i get so pissed off i fantasize about throwing my computer against the wall even though it's not my computers fault...in the last couple of months since getting internet in thailand, i have never felt such impatience before...cause i too, expect that things will be faster than this!!!
    xo

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  2. yeah, it's hard not to blame the computer - it is but a carrier, it's probably just as frustrated as we are... in fact, I suggest starting a support group together with our computers. They need love too...

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