I Talk to Myself

Edmund Blackadder, (pictured left), when confronted by someone else that he was talking to himself, answered curtly: "Yes. It's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation".

Not all my conversations with myself are intelligent. Some are downright goofy. And sometimes, I can give myself an epiphany!

Sometimes, I'm giving an interview. Sometimes, I'm a TED speaker. Sometimes, I'm just voicing my thoughts out loud, in an attempt to straighten out whatever it is I'm thinking. Sometimes, those thoughts turn into music. Not always.

Sometimes, I talk to myself in the car. My kids have finally given up asking me who I'm talking to. They get it now, that Mama has stuff to say, and no one necessarily needs to listen. If I'm alone in the car, and I stop at a stoplight next to another car, someone has most likely seen me gabbing away in there, with no one to gab to. Thankfully, we live in an age of Bluetooth and hands-free and wi-fi, and I figure, they'll figure I'm talking to someone other than myself. Because let's face it, it is embarrassing.

But guess what! This will be great news for anyone who, like me, likes a tét-a-tét with oneself now and then. According to psychcentral.com, talking to yourself is a sign of - yup you guess it - sanity! Who knew?!

They even give examples of "four types of self-talk that will make you smarter and feel better about yourself:

1. Complimentary. Why wait to get compliments from another? If you deserve them, give them to yourself.
2. Motivational.You may not feel like doing boring or difficult tasks. But you can motivate yourself to get going with a much kinder voice.
3. Outer dialogue. Having trouble with making a decision? Should you stay or should you go? Speak up or stay silent? Choices aren’t easy. It’s much more effective, however, to create a dialogue with yourself so that you can hear what you think. Having such a dialogue can assist you in making a commendable compromise or a workable conciliation between your wants, your needs and others’ expectations.
4. Goal-setting. Let’s say you’re trying to be better organized. Setting a goal and making a plan can be a big help. Sure, you can just make a list, but saying it out loud focuses your attention, reinforces the message, controls your runaway emotions and screens out distractions.

And guess what else: there is actually a term for talking to yourself: 'intrapersonal communication'!

According to Wikipedia: "Intrapersonal communication can encompass:

• Day-dreaming
• Nocturnal dreaming, including and especially lucid dreaming
• Speaking aloud (talking to oneself), reading aloud, repeating what one hears; the additional activities of speaking and hearing (in the third case of hearing again) what one thinks, reads or hears may increase concentration and retention. This is considered normal, and the extent to which it occurs varies from person to person. The time when there should be concern is when talking to oneself occurs outside of socially acceptable situations.^[1]
• Internal monologue, the semi-constant internal monologue one has with oneself at a conscious or semi-conscious level.
• Writing (by hand, or with a word processor, etc.) one's thoughts or observations: the additional activities, on top of thinking, of writing and reading back may again increase self-understanding ("How do I know what I mean until I see what I say?") and concentration. It aids ordering one's thoughts; in addition it produces a record that can be used later again. Copying text to aid memorizing also falls in this category.
  • Writing need not be limited to words in a natural or even formal language. Doodling also falls into this category. Children may be communicating intrapersonally when they doodle and adults sometimes argue that they do...
• Making gestures while thinking: the additional activity, on top of thinking, of body motions, may again increase concentration, assist in problem solving, and assist memory.
  • Again, routinely observed in children, the equivalent of doodling without writing. Everyday images are transformed by gestures that form a new lens through which to view the images.
• Sense-making e.g. interpreting maps, texts, signs, and symbols
• Interpreting non-verbal communication e.g. gestures, eye contact
• Communication between body parts; e.g. "My stomach is telling me it's time for lunch."

So, even your body parts can talk to each other! Go figure.

The article leaves me with this reassuring thought:
"Whether you’re living by yourself or living with others, you’re always living with yourself. So don’t leave yourself out of the equation."

Right on. Now, if you need me, myself and I are outside, having a chat.

Daydreamer

As the ending credits of one of my favorite movies of all time, "This is Spinal Tap" roll by, lead character David St. Hubbins is asked what he would be, if he couldn't make rock 'n' roll music.
He answered, "I'd be a full-time dreamer".

What a clever man he was!

How important is it to daydream? Sometimes, we refer to it as 'zoning out' or 'spacing out', as if we can somehow switch our brains off for a minutes and just veg. Nothing could be father from the truth.

Everyone I know is a multi-tasker, whether they like it or not. I am too. I am not good at it, though, despite the fact women around the world claim it's like a natural ability. As soon as I try to do two things at once, something usually ends up burning. But, this doesn't mean multi-tasking is an option. It's a requirement, actually, because I am a human being. And if you think you aren't a multi-tasker, well I got news - you are one too.

So, like me, you probably think you deserve a bit of vegging out now and then. (I know I do, and I may be even more deserving because I am a Mom.) Sometimes, especially when kids are hungry and tired and whining in my face, I long for that moment, when I can just flop on the couch, let my hair down, my belly hang and my mind wander.

Admittedly, there is a certain amount of guilt attached to the activity of daydreaming. During any given 'space-out' moment, I can hear my daughter saying, 'Mamaaaaaa.... why are doin' nothing?!' Or, out of the corner of my eye, I see my husband taking out the trash or fixing the roof or otherwise laboring his ass off, and although he won't say it, he's probably thinking, 'Some wife I married...(mutter mutter)“

But guess what again! I am officially the bearer of good news, because I can tell you, daydreaming is good for you.

“Mind wandering is typically associated with negative things like laziness or inattentiveness,” says lead author, Prof. Kalina Christoff, UBC Dept. of Psychology. “But this study shows our brains are very active when we daydream – much more active than when we focus on routine tasks.

The quantity and quality of brain activity suggests that people struggling to solve complicated problems might be better off switching to a simpler task and letting their mind wander. "

And, if scientists tell me something is better for me, then by golly, I'm gonna do it.

If you need me, I'll be in the hammock, exercising my brain while sipping on a mojito.